The Time When I Was In A Cold War

|| So my last post I said I have never done anything extraordinary. Which was true. But yesterday, I stepped out of my comfort zone and send an email that I hope will help me change my life for the better. I was waiting fretfully for the person to reply me (which was understandable since this is my future we are talking about) and she did! She replied today morning and I was ecstatic. I can't wait to see how it goes for the next few months. ||

Putting that aside for a while, I'm going to blog about something that I have been thinking for the past few days. Social Network War. Or cold war (Since the people involved didn't exactly  "open fire" but instead hide behind their screens as they fight). Let's be honest here, majority of us have used our social network to share our displeasure for someone or something before. And we might have started a fight between someone else over it.

First I'm going to begin by sharing my own cold war experience. The Social Network used was TWITTER. The ever famous blue bird. There are 200+ million  twitter users! I didn't realise at that point that we were having a conflict. Nope. Not at all. I thought everything was just dandy but that changed when I came across her tweet. Oh at first I was curious. Who was she talking about? I started reading all her tweets and I realised "Damn! She is talking about me!" Truth be told I wasn't even mad. I was hurt. I thought we were getting along just fine. So I started tweeting back. But nothing malicious just things like "I don't understand why you are feeling this way." blah blah blah. After the twitter outburst, it was hard seeing her in class. I separated myself from her and our clique because I didn't want to put a strain on the group. I thought there goes our friendship. I thought I've lost a friend. But in the end we talked things out and everything turn out alright.

My experience is a BIG example on how by indulging in the war and not talk things out with your friend, you might lose he/she. You should ask yourself whether the fight is worth it? Maybe the insult thrown back and forth for the world to see might have cause more damaged than good? You should sit down and talk things out. Remember the good things that the both of you had. Do you want to lose that over a stupid fight that became big and DRAMATIC because of the "NETWORK" ? DO YOU? DO YOU?

That wasn't my last my cold war I have to admit. There was one where the "NETWORK" won because the damaged was too big to fix or because we could not forgive each other after that. I'm left with what ifs. What if we had talk things out? What if we both moved on and forgave each other? 

Take my advice and not give in to the pull of hiding behind the screen so that you can rant about someone. If you have a problem go talk things out. There might not be a COLD WAR but once you press that share button you will let others who are uninvolved to form their own opinions. Opinions that can be damaging to your reputation. Or they might just gossiped about you and things became worst. That is the last thing you need. Magpies getting involved. Really annoying I have to say.

The other thing is UNFOLLOWERS. One day you might get a notifications showing who had unfollowed you. You scrolled through it nonchalantly and humming along as you go. Oh wait. It couldn't be! Your friend unfollowed you!

Was there a reason? Did you do something wrong? Calm down hun. We should go and ASK. Don't let the devil in your mind come up with conclusions that might not be true. Sometimes I feel like the SOCIAL NETWORK is run by satans. It's too addictive to stop using. I admire those who can live a day without opening up their Twitter, Facebook, Instagram etc. Kudos to you guys!


Fact # 2 about me :

I love cats. I wish I was a cat sometimes. You can be a little cat or a fat cat and everyone will find you adorable. You can sleep all day long. You can climb on high places and hide in small places. AND omgosh, you can stretch anyway you like. But that's when I feel crazy, that's when I get really jealous of cats. Lucky little bastards. Anyway, I have two cats. (I'm sorry, but my cats are cuter than yours) *smirk* KIDDING ALL CATS ARE ADORBS! I love cats so much my heart will die a little when I see stray cats. I can't bring them home with me. I wish I could, so that I can fatten them up! I can cry when I see videos or news of cats being abused. (and ANY other animals) I swear! I get so pissed off and so upset when these little creatures get hurt by cruel assholes. Well, you can tell I'm a little crazy for cats. NOT EVEN ASHAMED OF IT.

Hope you guys enjoy my post (all the nonsensical stuffs). Happy day ahead lovelies. :) 

The Time I Realise I'm Ordinary

Hey guys!

I've been lazy. (Who am I kidding? I'm always lazy) 2015. First four weeks of 2015 and I haven't done anything extraordinary. My life is boring, my friends. So boring in fact that I can sleep through it. And I did. I wish I led a more phenomenal life. A life where strangers will be jealous of and friends will be cheering me on. What a fanciful wish huh?

So to liven things up I will bestow on you amazing people something boring about myself. Because that will be lively..

Fact #1 about me : I consider myself as a friendly person. It's just that something is holding me back from going out there and making new friends everyday. I'm dreadfully shy. I'm not lying. I'm so shy that people tend to form their first impression of me as someone ARROGANT. You know why? I'll tell you why. When I'm around people I do not know, I will turn my "I'm not bothered by you lowly peasants." AKA my bitch face on. I get SO intimidated by you guys (lovely to meet you there), that I will crawl up inside myself and hide away from you guys. Meaning, I will be making up scenarios in my head, daydreaming about something else to hide my fear of you guys. Come on, everyone out there is cooler than me! The chances of you guys finding me as one of the cool kids is minimal. So that is why. That's why I'm not good at making friends. If you are reading this. Come by my twitter @NasuhaSham and say hello. I may need some push to be making friends with you guys. I'm friendly! Truth.

So there. That's my update on my first four weeks of 2015. Still lazy. Still ordinary. If you can, try to make my life a little extraordinary and make friend with me. You will definitely make my day. :)

2015 Thoughts

Hello!

So it is now 2015 and I'm not ready for it. Every new year everyone gets a chance to hit that refresh button in their life and just try to be a whole new (better) person. And I am one of them. Although I have always failed. But it's alright!Another chance is here and I will try my damn best to do what I needed to do.

Last year on New Year's Eve I was sitting at a hotel room watching Friends and trying to get my  mind of school. Last year my school life...well, it sucked really. One of the biggest regrets of 2014 was wasting precious time of my life attending a pity party for myself. I've always put that blame on those people who had affected my year. "Oh it's their fault I'm sitting here rotting at home and feeling sad." Was a pathetic excuse for wasting my life. So now, I am trying to figure out my next plan in life and go from there. Wish me luck, babes!

2 days ago, I was in Kuala Lumpur for my year end holiday. It was fun and really relaxing. I'm gonna make another post for that since I do not have the cable to upload all of the pictures I took from my camera. Stay tune guys.

 I always have a question for myself when I'm typing up a post for everyone to read. Where am I going with this? Do I want to get recognition for this? Or am I doing this just for fun when I am feeling bored? I don't know. Right now, I blog because I like doing it. I like to document what I am thinking or feeling at that point of time. If people starts to read it then great. If my blog get many views then awesome. But for now, I'm just taking everything in stride and continue doing what I love.


Well then, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU LOVELY PEOPLE OUT THERE! 
(better late than never I guess) xoxxo.

 The spiderman creeping at the back is actually a helium balloon. :)

camera

Float away

Well I can totally say without any doubt that 2014 is a rough year for me. I was at my lowest point in life this year and I'm not proud of it. I need a new start. Away from negative vibes that have been surrounding me.

I'm a floater.  Floating aimlessly through life. I was never a doer. Most of the time, I'm the one that can be found by the sidelines. Putting it another way, I'm the freaking wallflower at a boisterous party which is life. Carpe diem they say. Seize the day. I really want that to be my motto. I'm easily impressed by anyone. I will be impress if you could wake up early in the morning. I will be impress if you have a list for your day. I will be impress if you have a part time job. You know why? Because I have never done that for myself without quitting by the end of the day.

I live in a fantasy world 90% of the time. I create a different world in my head. I don't think anyone can understand me. Or maybe you can if you are just like me. A floating dreamer. (Hence the new url for my blog)

To be someone I can be proud of. That's my ultimate wish.

Listen To Yourself

I don't understand how someone can try to bring others down to make themselves feel better about their own self.  Or make use of someone else's hard work as a tool to be the class clown so everyone will think they are funny. It pisses me off that someone can use words and make you feel shitty about yourself. I know we can ignore them or just walk away from their sharp tongues, but why do we have to put up with them? Can't they hear themselves spit out words that are hurtful?? Your high and mighty self can't figure out that saying how he/she should "clean her face because of her acne problem" isn't hurtful?? Or that laughing at someone's low grades and saying "The teacher wouldn't let you be in the group because of your grades" in front of mutual friends, isn't something shitty to say??

Okay, maybe you are that clueless of what is a nice thing to say or what isn't. Maybe you thought other people can take a joke pretty well. But ask yourself this, "If someone had said that to me, how would I feel?" Oh well. Maybe you can't think like that because you have your head up your ass that you couldn't figure out that your words fucking hurts.

Just Gimme Time To Be Fine

A flaw of mine that I need to get rid of is expecting too much from everyone. Have you ever been really excited about something but it didn't happen because of some unexpected circumstances? I bet everyone have experienced disappointment before.

It was stupid to expect too much from you. I should understand that and just be grateful for what I have. It wasn't your fault. It's just that I got so excited and when it didn't happen, it became a hard pill too swallow. Next time just don't make promises you can't keep. I would be happier. It's fine, I understand really I do. Just let me wash down the disappointment and I be right on track. Besides I can do all that for myself. You don't have to worry about me.

The Problem

I'm irrational. I get on your nerve most of the time. Sometimes I want something that you wouldn't understand and get mad because of it. Most of the times I want to be pampered in the most annoying way possible.I am such a pain in the ass. And you are such a prince for putting up with all my shit.

I hate it when I sound or be needy with you. I hate it when I expect you to follow the lines that I have scripted. I hate that I'm a green monster over little things. I want to be the perfect one for you but that is impossible.

How can I explain that, even when you make me happy, I still feel unhappy at night when I'm about to go to bed? There is something wrong with me. I'm not happy most of the time. Right now as I am typing this, my hands are shaking and I am literally grinding my teeth to stop the tears. What is wrong with me? I am a timed bomb and right now my clock is ticking too fast to explosion. I am so afraid that I will hurt the people I love. Especially you. Should I leave? Should I stay away from everyone till I get better?

Funny that as I read back, the word unhappy and happy is used the most. That is the root of it isn't it?