The Problem

I'm irrational. I get on your nerve most of the time. Sometimes I want something that you wouldn't understand and get mad because of it. Most of the times I want to be pampered in the most annoying way possible.I am such a pain in the ass. And you are such a prince for putting up with all my shit.

I hate it when I sound or be needy with you. I hate it when I expect you to follow the lines that I have scripted. I hate that I'm a green monster over little things. I want to be the perfect one for you but that is impossible.

How can I explain that, even when you make me happy, I still feel unhappy at night when I'm about to go to bed? There is something wrong with me. I'm not happy most of the time. Right now as I am typing this, my hands are shaking and I am literally grinding my teeth to stop the tears. What is wrong with me? I am a timed bomb and right now my clock is ticking too fast to explosion. I am so afraid that I will hurt the people I love. Especially you. Should I leave? Should I stay away from everyone till I get better?

Funny that as I read back, the word unhappy and happy is used the most. That is the root of it isn't it?